Expectations
by Robert Taylor
We expect people and circumstances
to conform to our desires. Is this realistic?
We have limited control over
circumstances or other people. People normally do the best they are capable
of doing at that particular moment. Circumstances and events happen over
which we have little or no control.
When we expect circumstances or
people to conform to our belief of what they should be or do we set ourselves
up for disappointment. People always have and always will do what they consider
best for themselves or in which they are most interested.
People may not always do what
is best for themselves when they have other things which are of greater interest
to them. For instance, a Mother will make sacrifices for the welfare of her
children. An individual will make sacrifices for a cause in which that person
strongly believes.
Basically, however, we only do
those things we consider to be in our own best interest. Why should we expect
others to behave any differently?
While it is true we can force
others to do things we wish done, it is not permanent. The moment we relent
they will revert to their original nature. This is totally ineffective and
inefficient.
A better way is to set the example
for others and hope they will see it is to their advantage to emulate us.
The only way to get others to become what we wish them to be is to show them
it is truly in their best interest to do so.
When you think about it, you always
do your best at those things which hold your interest and undivided attention.
We are not interested in what we do not enjoy. But what about pain? Pain
may get our undivided attention, but our only interest is in getting rid
of it as quickly as possible.
Pain and pleasure are our greatest
motivators. We will do just about anything to rid ourselves of pain or to
gain pleasure. We put much greater effort into those things we enjoy and
which are of interest to us.
When setting our expectations
we can always prefer they happen as we wish. However, we should not be unduly
disappointed if things do not conform to our desires.
Preferring one thing to another
does not set us up for as much disappointment as when we expect one particular
thing to happen. We can always say that we would have preferred so-and-so
to happen, but since it didn't we can adjust to the other outcomes.
What are your thoughts along these
lines?
Copyright 2001 by Robert
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