Learn
to Love Your Body
by Susie Michelle Cortright
http://www.momscape.com
Twenty-four percent of women and 17 percent of men
say they would give up more than three years of life to be thinner. That’s
according to a poll conducted by Psychology Today magazine.
At the same time, studies show
that half of American women overestimate the size of their bodies.
Sociologists who study the
western-world phenomenon of poor body image attribute the problem to a variety
of factors, including media and cultural influences, as well as parental
and peer messages.
The advertising industry ties
the already complex issue of body image with materialism. A slender body
is associated with wealth, health, and attractiveness. A heavier body is
associated with sloth, indulgence, and a lack of self-control.
Psychological factors can add
to the effect of media and culture. Girls who experienced sexual abuse or
an emotionally difficult puberty are more prone to body dissatisfaction as
adults. So are women who feel they have little control over their lives.
Women who have felt the most brutal
blows from poor body image say it is not a single factor acting in isolation.
Jenifer Tracy, who battled bulimia for nine years, says a combination of
factors, such as a non-supportive family environment and a poor self-image,
snowballed in the presence of cultural influences.
"If I had love for myself or love
from my family," Tracy says, "it would not matter what a model looked like,
and it would not affect my personal self-esteem."
The Dangers of Body
Dissatisfaction
When we realize that it is a
combination of influences that lead to body dissatisfaction, we empower ourselves
to solve the problem. We can seize power by breaking the chain of these
influences wherever we can.
Carolyn Strauss is a top plus-size
model, author of Specialty Modeling, and a nationally recognized expert on
body image issues, from fashion to self-esteem. Her accomplishments now include
her own clothing collection featured on the Home Shopping Network. Through
it all, she helps other women move toward a more positive body image. Strauss
says the biggest danger of a negative body image lies in the power it gives
away.
"When someone has a poor body
image, she will try to find validation from outside to make her feel better.
The next diet, the next fashion fad, the next boyfriend, anything but where
she is now. Instead of living in the moment, she may find herself living
for ‘when I look better,’" Strauss says. "Remember, the goal of
most advertising it to make you ‘not OK’ so that, upon using that
product, you will become OK. I say, start OK and then you’ll only buy
what you choose to have for yourself."
Most of us can think of a time
when we thought a new haircut, diet, or lipstick would turn everything around
for us. But that mindset can lead to a lot of wasted time and money. Constant
self-monitoring can also drain your energy, and it can even lead to depression
and hostility.
A University of Toronto study,
published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders, found that women
who were interviewed after seeing magazine ads that featured female models
showed a significant and immediate decrease in self-esteem.
Poor body image can lead to crash
dieting and excessive exercise, which can, in turn, lead to poor nutrition,
injuries, and depression. In it’s most dangerous form, a negative body
image may fuel an eating disorder or Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).
When you are continually distracted
with physical appearance, the energy of your mind, body, and spirit is diverted
from more salient endeavors.
Solutions
Seek help.
If you feel that your body image
has become a pre-occupation, don’t hesitate to talk to a counselor or
therapist. Amoreena Brewton, a mother with a background in sociology and
counseling, has conducted research on women and body image. She says, "Some
people are too deeply entrenched in their body issues to resolve them on
their own. Often, there are personal or familial issues at play when a person
has an eating disorder, so seeking professional help is highly
recommended."
Tracy agrees. "In the end, my
success came from the deep desire to stop, which had been inside of me for
years, and then getting into serious therapy with an eating disorder specialist.
Having someone who focuses on just that area was a true lifesaver."
Make small changes.
A global change in cultural and
economic structures would, no doubt, help us all achieve a more positive
body image. But there will likely always be supermodels, paid endorsements,
and the unstoppable "quest for the best" bandwagon.
Instead, enforce changes on a
smaller scale. Brewton suggests we stop allowing those negative forces into
our lives. "Don’t buy Cosmo, buy Redbook," she says. "Look at really
powerful, intelligent successful women whom you admire as often as possible.
For example: Oprah, Rosie, Hillary, Martha, your mom, your grandmother, your
daughter."
Use positive affirmations.
When you catch yourself commiserating
over tight blue jeans, don’t let your mind get stuck in the negativity.
When that negative voice does emerge, follow it with 10 positive
thoughts.
Tracy says repetition is key.
"It begins with re-recording the negative messages in your own mind, which
are so painful," she says. "I have probably re-recorded that message over
500,000 times, and I keep losing it. But it’s easier to find for the
next time."
Once you navigate yourself out
of the negativity rut, you’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll
better understand your power to create and maintain a healthier mind, body,
and spirit.
Remember your spiritual
connection.
"The first thing to remember is
that the Universe does not make mistakes," Strauss says. You are where you
are for a reason. Acknowledge this and then choose how to proceed with the
next minute, hour, day, of your life."
For the religious and spiritual
among us, body image may instantly improve with the simple reminder that
God gave you the body you have for a reason. He didn’t make you to look
like Cindy Crawford because you aren’t Cindy Crawford. He wants you
to be healthy enough to do your life’s work. To live and work at an
optimum level. So, accept His creation, and nurture it.
Surround yourself with supportive
friends.
"As I began to recover little
by little from bulimia," Tracy says. "I did not surround myself with people
who were as concerned about body size. I put myself among beautiful, strong,
and intelligent women who really put little emphasis on looks."
Brewton also recommends surrounding
yourself with friends whose focus is not on exteriors. "Other women can make
the biggest difference in our lives by being mentors and leading by example,"
Brewton says. She suggests we find a group of women to meet with regularly
to discuss issues important to our lives, but, she says, don’t focus
solely on body issues. "Obsessing as a group is no better than obsessing
as an individual," she says.
Find a group of supportive women,
either in your neighborhood or online. Then use this safe, non-critical
environment to empower one another.
Focus on Health.
Change your relationship with
food. Food is fuel for active living. Strive not for a number on the scale
but for a weight at which you feel strong and energetic. Ask yourself if
your diet contributes - or takes away from - your health and energy
levels.
When we stop focusing on our bodies,
and begin to focus on our health, our bodies have an easier time finding
our optimal weight. Researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine
have discovered that people who start a weight-loss program when they feel
happiest about their body are more than twice as likely to lose weight as
people who are less satisfied.
Tracy proves that we can control
how much power food has over us. "One of the most important factors in my
success has been to eat everything and anything I want, whenever. I do not
diet, restrict, or make rules for myself in any way. This sets my life up
so that I don’t ever feel restricted and needy for food. It has taken
a lot of the importance out of food for me," Tracy says. "Since I quit my
bulimic behaviors, I have lost 15 pounds, my face and cheeks are not swollen,
and I feel really good."
Change your relationship with
exercise.Regular exercise creates power and endurance, which can help you
enjoy more activities. Can you hike as far as you like? Would you like to
try kayaking? Do you know the joys of a "runner’s high"?
Find an exercise you enjoy. If
you hate aerobic dance, don’t join an aerobics class. If you hate the
gym, don’t spend your time there. Instead, experiment with exercises
you’ve never tried before. Is there an exercise that makes you feel
physically empowered? Do that one.
Motivate yourself to exercise
by reminding yourself about the burst of energy that inevitably follows a
workout.
Change your relationship with
your body.
When food becomes a tool for active
living, and exercise becomes a tool for increased strength, your body becomes
a tool for your mind. Suddenly, your body has the endurance and power to
do what the mind wills.
"Our bodies are miracles, walking
around in skin," Brewton says. You will never come across a finer work of
art or machinery."
Befriend your body, and ask yourself
how you want to spend your life energy. "Imagine for a moment that you took
all that time you spend thinking about appearance and focused on how much
you love your ability to communicate well, or what a great mom you are, or
ways to solve the issue of homelessness," Brewton says. "If you took that
negative energy and used it for good, not only would your life improve, but
the world would improve, as well."
Copyright 2001 Susie Michelle
Cortright
Susie
Michelle Cortright is the founder and publisher of
Momscape.com, a website devoted to
helping moms enjoy motherhood.
She
is also the author of More Energy Now! How to Beat Mommy Burnout and Live
with Vitality, Passion, and Joy
Click
here to learn how you can boost your energy in the next five minutes:
http://www.momscape.com/energy.htm
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